A question that comes up a lot when people start therapy is “what can I do to feel better?”. People start therapy because they are stuck in something negative, and they are looking for ways to get unstuck. Part of the therapeutic process is getting to know someone, assessing their struggle, and discussing what things might work for them. However, there are a few “go-to” things that I find are universally helpful.
Why does it matter if they are free? It doesn’t really, but usually when we are struggling with our mental health, we are really good at seeing the roadblocks. Conditions like anxiety and depression can make us feel stuck and it zaps away our motivation. Activities that are free removes at least one of those roadblocks.
The first few have to do with your body. Our mental health and physical health are very connected, so often taking care of one, helps to take care of the other.
1. Exercise- We have known for a long time that exercise releases endorphins (those “feel good” chemicals) that help to naturally boost our mood. Setting an exercise plan also sets you a goal to work towards, and that can feel good. Getting our blood flowing can also release nervous energy and can help clear our minds. You don't have to pay for an expensive gym or workout clothes, either. Take a walk in your neighborhood, or find some free work out videos online. You don't even need shoes to do yoga! Of course, always check with your doctor if you have health limitations or concerns before starting a new workout routine.
2. Set up a sleep schedule- Sleep is also very connected to our mood. Who out there gets cranky when they don’t get enough sleep? I know I do. The problem with mental health struggles is that our sleep can often be affected. Sometimes a person can’t get to sleep because they are feeling anxious or can’t stop ruminating over something. Or on the other side of the spectrum, sometimes a person struggles to get out of bed because they are weighted down by depression or feeling too overwhelmed to face the day. Stress increases cortisol- which keeps us up and going, and decreases melatonin, which helps us sleep. We can’t always just snap our fingers and make stress disappear, but we can set up a sleep schedule, which means creating a routine of doing the same things before bed, and trying to go to bed and wake up at the same time. This helps train our brain into recognizing when it is time to start producing the melatonin so that we can get to sleep. Trying to get up at the same time also can help us so it doesn’t feel quite as hard to get out of bed.
3. Drink water- Okay, this one may sound like a stretch, but research shows that staying hydrated is connected to our mood. When we are dehydrated, we have less energy, and our body can send out signals that mimic anxiety (for example, dizziness, fatigue, and heart palpitation). Dehydration also affects our brain’s ability to produce serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate our moods and makes us feel happy. Dehydration also affects our physical health, and it is really hard to feel good mentally when we are feeling poor physically. Most of us don’t drink enough water, so chances are, going to get a drink of water and making a habit of drinking water will help boost your mood.
The rest of these ideas are all centered around connection. Struggles with our mood and mental health often pull us to disconnect. We can disconnect from our relationships, our interests, our spirituality, and even ourselves, as we try to shove our feelings aside or numb ourselves from the pain. Finding ways to connect to ourselves, our feelings and creativity, as well as nature, people, the community, and God can be wonderful coping skills for when we are struggling mentally.
4. Get out in nature- Sometimes, all we need is a different perspective. Going outside reminds us that we are a part of a world that is bigger than ourselves. It can help us to feel grounded. It connects to our sense of beauty. It engages our senses. It reminds us that there is order to the world in that the sun rises and sets every day, seasons change, and we don’t need to be in control of it at all to be able to enjoy it. Sometimes all it takes is walking outside your door. You may have a favorite trail or park, or you could go exploring to have a change of scenery.
5. Call a friend or family member- It is always good to remember that you are not alone. Our desire may be to isolate, but often there is comfort in hearing a familiar voice. It feels good to know that someone knows us and it helps being reminded that somebody cares. You can share what is on your heart, or you can just talk about “nothing much.” Reach out to a positive person in your life and let them know you are thinking of them. Allow their positive voice to turn down the volume on the negative voice in your own head.
6. Do something nice for someone- We feel better when we help others feel better, right? There are lots of ways to do nice things for others, in your own home, neighborhood and community. Maybe do a chore for someone in your house. Send someone a text telling them how you appreciate them. Help a neighbor with their yard work or offer to watch a friend’s kids so they can have a date night. Or find an organization that needs volunteers. Doing nice things for others helps us to feel more grateful, connected, it reminds us that we are not alone, and that we aren’t the only ones with problems. We’re all in this together, and we all need a helping hand sometimes.
7. Write a story- Using your creativity can be a great way to boost your mood. It can help you connect to your emotions, or if you are feeling stuck in a feeling, it can be helpful to write a story to involve an opposite emotion. If you are feeling anxious, maybe write a story about adventure and bravery. If you are feeling down, write a story about hope and compassion. You can also write a story that expresses how a character works through certain emotions, such as how someone copes well with anger or hurt. Writing stories can help us process our own emotions and often helps us find solutions we hadn’t thought of before.
8. Find something that makes you laugh- Laughter is the best medicine, right? Proverbs 17:22 says “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” In other words, being cheerful helps us feel better, being in despair is debilitating. There is not much out there that is better than a good belly laugh. Find a funny movie, video, joke, or memory that makes you chuckle, and you may be surprised how much better you feel.
9. Music- whether you like classical, hard rock, bluegrass or anything in between, music can lift us up, help us connect to our emotions, energize us, or help us relax. If you are musical, playing an instrument or singing can also have benefits for mental health.
10. Pray or connect to God- Often when we are disconnected emotionally, it makes us disconnected spiritually. Prayer reduces feelings of anxiety and depression because it reminds us that we are not alone, God is in control, and he loves us. Prayer often fills us with gratitude, gives us hope, and brings on a peace that passes understanding. The Creator of the universe wants to talk to you, and there is nothing too big that he can’t handle or forgive. If a holy God can forgive and receive us, then who are we to not forgive ourselves? Sometimes we just feel “distant” but just like Psalm 139 tells us, there is no where we can go that God isn’t there. He made us and knows everything about us. If the feelings aren’t there to spend time in prayer or in God’s Word, then I would encourage you to try the action, because usually the feelings will follow.
You can try these one at a time, but many you could do together. Take a walk and listen to some music. Call a friend and talk about something funny that happened. Set up a sleep schedule that may include some exercise or stretching when you wake up. Walk out in nature and appreciate God’s creation. Be creative, and remember that this list isn’t exclusive. Number 11 can be to think about what you enjoy, what makes you happy, and make your own list!
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