Life Changes and Rearranging Furniture Part 2: Finding Hidden Treasures

In my last post, I shared an analogy that I often use when someone is going through some sort of life change. It goes like this- our life changes can be like rearranging furniture in a room, and sometimes moving things around means exposing messes underneath. I addressed ways to face and cope with those messes in healthy ways. While it is true that we often find messes that have built up, there is another side to this analogy, which is this- sometimes you can move around the furniture and find a hidden treasure. Maybe it is something small like a sock that you thought had lost its match. Maybe some loose change or a child’s lost toy. Or maybe something that has great value, but you thought was lost forever. 

Going through life changes also means that God can show us beautiful things that we may not have recognized before. These treasures can help us through the trials and remind us of what is true when our world seems upside down. What are these special finds that come up when our lives get rearranged? Here are a few that I have seen in my work with people and in my own personal journey. 

Faith- There is an expression that people often say when things get hard- God does not give you more than you can handle. I'm sure most of us have either been told that or said it ourselves during a rough time of life. The problem is, that although this statement is usually said with the best intentions, it just isn’t true. There is nowhere in the Bible that God promises that you will be able to handle every hard thing that happens to you. In fact, it is quite the opposite. If you read the Bible, time after time, you will find stories of people who faced impossible situations. Every time they are given more than they can handle. And every time you will find that they are not rescued by their own strength or intelligence, but by God’s mercy and power. When Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery and later falsely accused and imprisoned, God provided a way for him to rise to power and he rescued nations from starvation during a 7 year famine. When Moses and the Israelites were fleeing slavery in Egypt and they were trapped by the Red Sea in front of them and the Egyptian army behind them, God parted the waters so they could cross to safety. When Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den for not bowing down and worshiping king Darius, God closed the mouths of the lions and Daniel passed the night unharmed. When the disciples were in a boat battling a storm and their boat was about to sink, Jesus calmed the winds and waves by simply commanding them to be still. And when sin entered the world through Adam and Eve’s sin, God provided a way to still have a relationship with him by sending his son, Jesus, to pay the penalty of our sins for us through his death and resurrection. These are just a few examples where there is too much for any person to handle, and God shows up and makes a way. Time and again God provides in impossible situations. Life changes are hard, but it is often in those situations that our faith grows larger and deeper, because we experience first hand the ways that God shows up with grace and mercy in our lives.  

Hope- Psalm 30:5b says “weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Later in verse 11 of the same psalm David writes “You have turned for me my mourning into dance; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness”. Change may cause grief and sorrow for today, but there is always the possibility of healing and joy in the days to come. We may find that the path we thought our life would follow changes, but that does not mean that there will not be blessings along our new path. It is okay to grieve the losses that come with change, but don’t forget to have hope for the new things to come. 

Personal growth- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist whose work centered around death and dying, and who was most known for identifying the 5 stages of grief experienced by the dying. She wrote in her book Death: The Final Stage of Growth (1975), “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” This quote pretty much sums it up. Going through change gives us new perspectives. Hard things make us more sensitive and understanding. People rarely become more “beautiful” inwardly when things are easy. It is through suffering, challenge, and adversity that we grow. 

Along these lines, change often causes us to find new abilities. Often we find ourselves capable of things that we didn’t know we could do before. Like I said in the previous post, new situations sometimes mean role changes, but sometimes that can be a good thing. For example, becoming new parents may be a difficult adjustment in many ways, but new parents also discover that their ability to love and be patient grows in a way that they did not know was possible before being parents. Starting a new job may show someone that they are capable of learning new things. And losing a job may show someone that they are capable of problem solving and figuring out new solutions. Every life change presents an opportunity for growth and learning new things. 

Love and connection. Change and challenging times can often cause our relationships to shift in different ways. Sometimes a move can mean becoming more distant from some people, but it also opens up the opportunity for new friendships to form. Experiencing a loss may allow others to express their love and care by just sitting with you, or sharing stories, or bringing a meal. And kids going off to college may provide new opportunities to reconnect to your spouse. When going through a life change, look for opportunities to grow in your relationships, build connections, and allow others to show that they care by loving, helping, and giving support. 

Life changes can create a lot of challenges, but they also create a lot of opportunities, too. Sometimes it means digging through the mess, but often, doing the work of facing the mess means that you will also find some beautiful treasures. And these treasures are more valuable than the loose change or lost earring you may find under your couch. They can help you grow spiritually, emotionally, and in your relationships, and even though change is hard, we often find that there is a crown of beauty instead of ashes. (Isaiah 61:3)