It is the beginning of the year, and many people are making resolutions or goals that focus on self-improvement. People want to become healthier physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you are someone who has decided that focusing on your mental health is a goal for this year, then here are some tips for figuring out how to find a therapist that is a good fit for you.
What do I mean by finding a therapist that is a “good fit”? Often, people start therapy with the first person they find or know, and if it doesn’t go well, then they decide that therapy just doesn’t work for them, and they give up on the process altogether. It should be noted that not all therapists have the same areas of expertise, strengths, personalities, and approaches to working through different issues. If you have had therapy before, and it wasn’t a good experience, it doesn’t mean that therapy is bad, doesn’t work, or even that your therapist was bad, it could just be that they weren’t a good fit for you. Also, practically speaking, not all therapists, agencies or therapy platforms have the same availability and prices, so sometimes those factors can create more stress (which is the opposite of what you want to happen in your therapy process). Here are some strategies and steps to help you find the right therapist for you.
Figure out what you want to achieve through therapy. This is important- know what you need to work through. Think about what is most important for you to achieve in the process, or your “therapy goals”. Some examples might be learning new coping skills for anxiety or depression, finding ways to better manage anger, having a safe space to process grief or a past trauma, or finding ways to adjust to a difficult life change. Once you are more aware of what you want to focus on, you can look for a therapist who has those areas of expertise.
Figure out what your expectations are. How much time are you expecting to spend in therapy? What are you expecting to pay for sessions? Are you expecting to use your insurance? What time of day are you expecting to have your sessions? Do you want virtual sessions or in-person sessions? Are you expecting your therapist to be more solution-focused or to have more of an emphasis on processing your feelings? Do you like homework for in-between sessions? You can discuss different expectations when you initially contact a therapist, and they can let you know if those things are possible.
Think about the type of therapist to whom you would feel the most comfortable talking. There are many things to consider when choosing a therapist, and some may be important to you, and some things may not matter as much. Does the gender or age of your therapist matter? Does their faith matter? Does their ethnicity matter? Does their education, license, or certification matter? Remember that therapists are people too, and due to our own identities and cultural influences, we will bring a certain worldview to the work that we do. We do our best to be non-judgmental and neutral, but we are still human. And sometimes that worldview and lived experience can be an asset if it is something that you share. It can help you to feel more understood and comfortable opening up. Think about what those areas are where you want to feel understood the most.
Know what is expected of you in therapy. Sometimes people come to therapy expecting their therapist to have all the answers and do all the work to make them feel better. Those are the same people who may say that they didn’t like their therapist, or that therapy didn’t work for them. The real problem was that they were unaware of what was expected of them in the therapy process. When looking for a therapist, it can help to ask what might be expected of you. You should also prepare yourself to be challenged, because that is a part of the growth process.
Once you have done these things, you are ready to start your search process. You can start with a search for “therapist near me” on a search engine, and you may get some good results, but often that doesn’t give you much information about the therapists or practices, and lots of “sponsored” sites pop up that may also feel confusing. Below are some sites and directories that I think are helpful. (And no, none of them pay me to promote them, these are just sites I’ve used personally either as a therapist or a client and I find them helpful.)
Psychologytoday.com is a great directory that allows you to search for a therapist in your location, and you can also specify those areas of expertise and specifics that you are looking for. For example, you can find a therapist licensed in your state that specializes in anxiety and depression, is a Christian, female, and takes Cigna insurance. If you have private insurance, you can also use directories on platforms like Alma (helloalma.com) Headway (headway.co) and Grow Therapy (growtherapy.com) to find a provider that takes your insurance. You can also enter your insurance information and they can give you a ballpark estimate of what your co-pay will be.
If you aren’t using insurance, there are some good online platforms like Talkspace and BetterHelp that work on a monthly subscription plan that include therapy sessions as well as messaging options to work on things in between sessions. They also can match you with someone based on your needs and preferences. Or you can find a therapist through the other directories I mentioned and most will tell you what the therapist charges out of pocket per session, and if they offer a sliding-scale fee. Open Path Collective (openpathcollective.org) is a directory for therapists that work with sliding-scale fees. If you qualify, you pay a one-time $65 subscription fee, but then it allows you to work with a therapist listed on their site for $30-70 per session.
Lastly, there may be people you trust that could also recommend someone. Your pastor, doctor, and maybe even close friends or family may all have recommendations. If you are comfortable asking, it may help you narrow down your search. Once you have someone in mind, try to set up a consultation call or at least email with your questions. Sometimes someone looks like a great fit on paper, or a friend really recommended them, but it can be really helpful to talk to someone for a few minutes to give you an idea of what a session with that person might be like.
There are a lot of options out there, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming and frustrating to find someone that is a good fit for you, but doing some work on the front end can help set you up for a successful therapy process. Research shows that an important factor in positive therapy outcomes is the “therapeutic relationship” or the trust, openness, and connection that a client feels with their therapist. Finding a therapist that is a good fit for you will help you to establish that positive therapeutic relationship and make it more likely to have a positive experience and outcome in therapy. Take a little extra time to find a good therapist for you. There is one out there, and it is definitely worth it!
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